TOmorrow I go into hospital to have gastric lap banding. I am alternating between being excited and terrified. It's a bit like having a baby - you know it's going to hurt and be undignified, but you want to get it over and done with so you get on with your life again.
I haven't blogged recently because I have had my head down doing schoolwork. Only four weeks left till the end of the academic year, and I have to miss this week, so I am working hard to get myself into a position where I can comfortable manage to allow myself some 'sick leave'. That is what I am aiming for by the end of today and things are looking good at the moment.
I have had to spend the last two weeks on a strict diet using Optifast. I am cross with my surgeon for putting every patient on this beofre the op without any examination of individual circumstances - a strict diet makes sense, because most people who need this op have a fatty liver, and it's a good idea to shrink it a bit - but I am lactose intolerant and no mention was made of the fact that Optifast is, on the whoole, pure milk products with vitamins and minerals thrown in. There is a soup, but it tastes like dog vomit and I threw it away. I managed three of the shakes before I was sick. I have been managing with the chocolate mousses and chocolate bars three times a day (how does this teach you good eating habits, BTW? And I don't even have a sweet tooth) plus the allowance of fruit and veges (the easy bit) plus all the water (also the easy bit). But I have been having such bad stomach pains and other nasty intestinal symtpoms (won't go into details but let's just say that last night I only just got to the bathroom in time) that this morning (after puking up my Optifast breakfast) I have thrown it all out and I;m spending my last day before banding eating sensibly. Two weeks of this have turned me from someone who ate sensible foods, albeit in enormous quantities, to a buleimic eating 'chocolate' three times a day. At least after the op , although I have to live on liquids for a while and then purees, they can be actual food. I have written lactose intolerance on my hospital admission forms because if anyone offers me a nourishing milky drink in hospital I will get violent with my IV stand!!!
I will politely point out to my surgeon, when I see him, that it would be a good idea to check with his patients rather than just having a blanket policy of putting them all onto Optifast!